Bothered.....

I usually don't share this kind of info but I'm VERY bothered. Bothered to the point, I did not sleep well last night. A family who adopted a 4 year old from China earlier this year is on trial for the murder of their daughter. She was here a couple days shy of 3 months. She suffered horrible abuse in that short time. Her brother who was 9 and biological said he cried himself to sleep watching what was happening to his sister. He felt he had no control. The dad did nothing.....Now she's dead. I'm not sure what went through their heads but it brings me to this point.

Lize was the most amazing adoption. She walked right up said "niho mama" and "lets go" in chinese. Sofi, our first adoption was not that way. I've only shared this to my closest friends but maybe this will stop the death of another child. Sofi was a mild heart baby. She weighed 14 lbs at 14 months. When they handed her to us I thought she had cerebral palsy. She was this frail, pale, limp lil peanut. We knew GOD picked her for us so we decided whatever she had-we'd deal with it. We soon noticed she got stiff and arched her back at physical contact she did not initiate. She could not even roll over. She scooted around in circles on her back- explaining the sores on the back of her head. She would not touch anything with an open hand, ate only lil amounts of formula and was resistant to put anything in her mouth. She did not want to be hugged and cuddled unless she initiated it. When we got home it took nearly 4 months before I could just scoop her up without invitation. It took 6 months before she'd try certain food textures, she sat and crawled. Certain sounds, foods, textures, touches.....would set her into a fit. A fit of screaming, kicking and eventually a long sleep. It was not like your normal 2 / 3 year old fit. She would get soo overwhelmed then crash. We couldn't go away over night for almost 3 years b/c she would scream and chant with any change in routine. I'd love to say things are perfect now but there not. I sometimes have to put her or me behind a gated door. We had wonderful physical, occupational and developmental teachers who have given us large amounts of resources. We have been blessed by our faith, a wonderful Dr. , friends and family who have supported us. We have been blessed by people who love her just where she's at and for who she is. She is developmentally on track now - socially it varies with the situation. Some days are still rough but SO WHAT! SHE IS OUR DAUGHTER!. We wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone. We knew when we adopted there was lots of unknowns. When you have birth children there is lots of unknowns. They are gifts from GOD. GOD loves us with no strings attached and that's how we love her and her siblings. Adoption is not for the faint of faith or heart. We are blessed to have been called......